Circus of the Dead Book Four by Kimberly Loth

Author:Kimberly Loth
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kimberly Loth

Chapter Eleven

I should be continuing on my quest to destroy the island, but I can’t help myself. I watch Benny constantly. I don’t watch the islanders or the other ghosts. Hell, I barely notice the birds. Benny has recaptured my wholehearted attention. I’m certain Reken is extremely angry with me. Well, he can be angry.

I’m too busy being in love.

I missed this so much.

Funny how quickly that love came back. Though I shouldn’t be surprised. I just needed to forgive him. Benny’s been my one and only for some time now. I snort, remembering how silly I’d find this in my past life. When I was in California and carefree surfing, love seemed frivolous and dumb. Who needed love when you have waves? And fun? And Maddie, my sister and best friend. I didn’t need a boy.

I wonder if, eventually, I would’ve found love. And if I would’ve embraced it or let it go without realizing what I was losing. Probably. I was pretty shallow. I’ve changed so much. My California self wouldn’t recognize my swamp self. I like this self better even though it’s been extremely difficult and I had to die.

Am I nuts? Probably.

Benny talks to me all the time. Sometimes he tells me how worried he is about me, and other times he tells me stories of his youth. Once, he related to me every physical feature he remembered about me and how much he appreciated it. I blushed quite a bit during that, if ghosts can even blush. I talk back to him even though he can’t hear me. His chattering makes me feel real. More like I’m not dead.

This two weeks apart thing sucks. I guess it’s better than not at all. But still.

There has to be a spell somewhere that will fix this, that will make us both ghosts or fully alive. Alive would be the best. As ghosts, there is always a chance we could move on. I realize that I do control that, but maybe I don’t. Maybe Reken does. Plus, I want to have kids with Benny and grow old with him. I want to watch him explore the world as it is now. I want to work silly dead-end jobs and whine about my feet hurting. I want the things in life that I took advantage of before I came to the island. The life I scoffed at as being normal and dull.

But I don’t know if Benny and I will ever have normal. Would we even have kids? If we can’t leave the island, then our kids’ lives would be in danger. Holy cow, look at me, thinking about kids. I’m a mess.

I should go looking for that spell, the one that will allow us to be together all the time, but I’m too enamored by Benny to go anywhere. I spend the entire two weeks watching him. At this point, the islanders are safe. What’re two weeks in the grand scheme of things? I can take time off stressing about everyone and let myself be in love for the moment.

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